28
Created by OnePlusYou - Online Dating Service
Showing posts with label Jokes 2007. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes 2007. Show all posts
KOTOKO - The Opening Music Video From
Hayate No Gotoku!
It's an anime, I'm watching currently about a combat butler.
Quite interesting and fun to watch.
Interesting Real Life Opening of the Simpsons
I just finished my series of understanding tests for my year 3 semester 1.
Whoohoo, Free from all test for the time being.
It is also the 100 Understanding Test Anniversary!
Looking back, wow, that's alot of tests for 3 years.
Oh Well. 2 more days of school!
I was just randomly surfing Youtube when I came across a banned commercials thread. This one is one of the nicer ones. All are quite funny! Hope this makes someone laugh. P.S Turn up the volume.
>>>>>9 Things I Hate About Everyone
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....
>>>>>I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I
>>>>>point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
>>>>>
>>>>>2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the
>>>>>entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to
>>>>>the T.V. and change the channel manually.
>>>>>
>>>>>3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat
>>>>>it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat
it?
>>>>>
>>>>>4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of
>>>>>course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've
>>>>>found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick
>>>>>their asses!
>>>>>
>>>>>5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
>>>>>Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn
>>>>>floor.
>>>>>
>>>>>6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really
>>>>>give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
>>>>>
>>>>>7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's
>>>>>new, then there has never been
anything before it. If it's an
>>>>>improvement, then there must have been something before it,
>>>>>couldn't be new.
>>>>>
>>>>>8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the
>>>>>longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's
>>>>>longer?
>>>>>
>>>>>9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the
>>>>>bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here,
>>>>>dumbass?
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....
>>>>>I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I
>>>>>point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
>>>>>
>>>>>2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the
>>>>>entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to
>>>>>the T.V. and change the channel manually.
>>>>>
>>>>>3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat
>>>>>it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat
it?
>>>>>
>>>>>4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of
>>>>>course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've
>>>>>found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick
>>>>>their asses!
>>>>>
>>>>>5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
>>>>>Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn
>>>>>floor.
>>>>>
>>>>>6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really
>>>>>give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
>>>>>
>>>>>7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's
>>>>>new, then there has never been
anything before it. If it's an
>>>>>improvement, then there must have been something before it,
>>>>>couldn't be new.
>>>>>
>>>>>8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the
>>>>>longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's
>>>>>longer?
>>>>>
>>>>>9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the
>>>>>bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here,
>>>>>dumbass?
Whoo!
I just found this funny pic.
Really cool.
I just found this funny pic.
Really cool.
Just finished a nice movie outing with Garnet.
Then came back from YCYPAO 144.
Bwah haha!
For the next few days, I'll be reporting outstation.
Meanwhile, have a funny pic to look at!
Internet Lingo!
Then came back from YCYPAO 144.
Bwah haha!
For the next few days, I'll be reporting outstation.
Meanwhile, have a funny pic to look at!
Internet Lingo!
Once upon a time, there was a pastor who brought an empty bird cage to the sermon.
After receiving puzzled looks, he explained.
A day earlier he was walking down town when he saw this boy with 3 little birds running down the street.
The pastor stopped the boy and asked hey what are you going to do with them?
The boy told him that, he wanted to taunt them, tease them, pluck out their feathers, beat them and amuse himself.
The pastor then asked the boy, what did he intend to do with them afterwards.
The boy said that he might have a few cats that would love to feed on the helpless birds.
The pastor was horrified and asked the boy how much were the birds.
The boy look at the pastor as thought he was mad and asked for $10.
As soon as the money was in his hands, the boy was gone.
Satan met Jesus one day.
Satan was carrying many souls of man in a cage.
Jesus asked Satan what are you to do with them?
Satan said with glee, I'm going to teach them to marry for the wrong reasons, get divorced, commit adultery, hate each other, murder others and destroy their own kind!
And after that what will you do with them?
Satan shouted with the most contempt, "Kill Them!"
Jesus was horrified and asked Satan, how much for their lives?
Satan sneered at Jesus, are you sure you want them, they will still hate you and hurt you.
Jesus continued and asked Satan to quote his price.
Satan then laughed and said "Your life!"
"Jesus paid his life, to save our souls" said the pastor.
In the same way, I saved these bird's lives and let them go under a nearby tree.
Thus you see, the empty cage.
Where Jesus has freed you.
After receiving puzzled looks, he explained.
A day earlier he was walking down town when he saw this boy with 3 little birds running down the street.
The pastor stopped the boy and asked hey what are you going to do with them?
The boy told him that, he wanted to taunt them, tease them, pluck out their feathers, beat them and amuse himself.
The pastor then asked the boy, what did he intend to do with them afterwards.
The boy said that he might have a few cats that would love to feed on the helpless birds.
The pastor was horrified and asked the boy how much were the birds.
The boy look at the pastor as thought he was mad and asked for $10.
As soon as the money was in his hands, the boy was gone.
Satan met Jesus one day.
Satan was carrying many souls of man in a cage.
Jesus asked Satan what are you to do with them?
Satan said with glee, I'm going to teach them to marry for the wrong reasons, get divorced, commit adultery, hate each other, murder others and destroy their own kind!
And after that what will you do with them?
Satan shouted with the most contempt, "Kill Them!"
Jesus was horrified and asked Satan, how much for their lives?
Satan sneered at Jesus, are you sure you want them, they will still hate you and hurt you.
Jesus continued and asked Satan to quote his price.
Satan then laughed and said "Your life!"
"Jesus paid his life, to save our souls" said the pastor.
In the same way, I saved these bird's lives and let them go under a nearby tree.
Thus you see, the empty cage.
Where Jesus has freed you.
Must read… to the end
This is a true story of a young college girl who passed away last month. Her name is Priya. She was hit by a lorry.
She had a boyfriend named Shankar. Both of them were true lovers, they always talked on the phone.
You could rarely see her without her phone. In fact they were inseparatable. She spends ¾ of her day speaking with Shankar.
Priya’s family knew about their relationship. In fact, Shankar is very close to her family. Before she passed away, her told her friends that if she were to die, she’d want to be buried with her hand phone.
After her death, nobody could lift her coffin to the hearse. A lot of people tried to carry it to no avail. Eventually they called their neighbor, a “Bomoh” from Thailand who is a friend of her family. He took a seat and started to speak with himself slowly, after a few minutes, he said that the girl was missing something. Her friends told him about Priya’s intention to be buried with her phone. He opened the coffin and placed the phone and SIM card inside. After that when they carried the coffin it was very easy to carry.
Priya’s family didn’t inform Shankar that she was dead. After 2 weeks, Shankar called her home to tell “Auntie, please cook something nice for me, I’m coming to visit, don’t tell Priya I’m coming I want to surprise her. Her mother just replied “You come home first; we want to tell you something important.”
When he visited, they told him about their daughter’s death. Shankar just laughed it off and asked them to stop kidding around and get Priya for him. When they showed him their original death cert he started to have cold sweat. He denied it was true as they spoke just yesterday.
When the phone rang, he answered only in shock to show Priya’s family that he was speaking with her. Speaking in loudspeaker mode, the sound quality was crystal clear. The creepy thing was that there was no way such a phone, SIM card existed anymore. When they consulted the Bomoh, he went to his master to solve this matter. They found out that.
M1 has the best coverage after all.
This is a true story of a young college girl who passed away last month. Her name is Priya. She was hit by a lorry.
She had a boyfriend named Shankar. Both of them were true lovers, they always talked on the phone.
You could rarely see her without her phone. In fact they were inseparatable. She spends ¾ of her day speaking with Shankar.
Priya’s family knew about their relationship. In fact, Shankar is very close to her family. Before she passed away, her told her friends that if she were to die, she’d want to be buried with her hand phone.
After her death, nobody could lift her coffin to the hearse. A lot of people tried to carry it to no avail. Eventually they called their neighbor, a “Bomoh” from Thailand who is a friend of her family. He took a seat and started to speak with himself slowly, after a few minutes, he said that the girl was missing something. Her friends told him about Priya’s intention to be buried with her phone. He opened the coffin and placed the phone and SIM card inside. After that when they carried the coffin it was very easy to carry.
Priya’s family didn’t inform Shankar that she was dead. After 2 weeks, Shankar called her home to tell “Auntie, please cook something nice for me, I’m coming to visit, don’t tell Priya I’m coming I want to surprise her. Her mother just replied “You come home first; we want to tell you something important.”
When he visited, they told him about their daughter’s death. Shankar just laughed it off and asked them to stop kidding around and get Priya for him. When they showed him their original death cert he started to have cold sweat. He denied it was true as they spoke just yesterday.
When the phone rang, he answered only in shock to show Priya’s family that he was speaking with her. Speaking in loudspeaker mode, the sound quality was crystal clear. The creepy thing was that there was no way such a phone, SIM card existed anymore. When they consulted the Bomoh, he went to his master to solve this matter. They found out that.
M1 has the best coverage after all.
There once was a beautiful princess, she was pure, demure and overall perfect, everyone in the kingdom wanted her hand in marriage.
Now the king was concerned with his daugther and the successor of his wealthy throne. He decided to devise a cunning plan. He advertised that he was holding a tournament where only the bravest, most worthy would marry his daughter.
Naturally, with a daughter that beautiful, rich and perfect, many men came to the palace to try their luck at winning the princess's hand. Now the King led them all to a huge olympic sized swimming pool. He asked them all to swim across.
The men all took off their fancy jackets and coats and got ready to jump into the pool. Then the King added that the pool was infested with 100 man eating crocs. All the men immediately pulled back. The King commented loudly, "You foolish cowards, are none of you brave enough to win my daughter's hand?"
Just as he finished, he heard a splash, and he saw a man swimming at a leisurely pace across the pool. Everyone cheered him on as he slowly reached the opposite end unharmed. Finally when the King made his way to the young man, he asked, "Lad, what made you brave the dangers and swim across, i'll reward you with whatever I can give."
The Young Man simply said "I want the head of the dumbo that pushed me into the pool."
Once upon a time there lived a king.
> The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.
>
>
>
> But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would
>melt.
>
>
>
> No matter what;
>
> metal,
>
> wood,
>
> stone,
>
> Anything she touched would melt.
>
>
>
> Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare
>marry her.
>
> The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
>
>
>
> He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the
>king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands,
>she will be cured."
>
>
>
> The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan next day, he
>held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that
>would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.
>
>
>
> THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
>
> The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted, and t he
>prince went away sadly.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> The second prince brought diamonds.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and
>would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He
>too was sent away disappointed.
>
>
>
> :-[
>
>
>
> The third prince approached. He told the princess,
>
> "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."
>
> The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
>
> And it did not melt!!!
>
>
>
> The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was
>overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived
>happily ever after.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Question: What was in the prince's pants?
>
> (Scroll down for the answer)
>
>
>
> V
>
>
>
>
>
> V
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> M&M's of course. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
>
>
>
>
>
> What were you thinking??
Now the king was concerned with his daugther and the successor of his wealthy throne. He decided to devise a cunning plan. He advertised that he was holding a tournament where only the bravest, most worthy would marry his daughter.
Naturally, with a daughter that beautiful, rich and perfect, many men came to the palace to try their luck at winning the princess's hand. Now the King led them all to a huge olympic sized swimming pool. He asked them all to swim across.
The men all took off their fancy jackets and coats and got ready to jump into the pool. Then the King added that the pool was infested with 100 man eating crocs. All the men immediately pulled back. The King commented loudly, "You foolish cowards, are none of you brave enough to win my daughter's hand?"
Just as he finished, he heard a splash, and he saw a man swimming at a leisurely pace across the pool. Everyone cheered him on as he slowly reached the opposite end unharmed. Finally when the King made his way to the young man, he asked, "Lad, what made you brave the dangers and swim across, i'll reward you with whatever I can give."
The Young Man simply said "I want the head of the dumbo that pushed me into the pool."
Once upon a time there lived a king.
> The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.
>
>
>
> But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would
>melt.
>
>
>
> No matter what;
>
> metal,
>
> wood,
>
> stone,
>
> Anything she touched would melt.
>
>
>
> Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare
>marry her.
>
> The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
>
>
>
> He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the
>king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands,
>she will be cured."
>
>
>
> The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan next day, he
>held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that
>would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.
>
>
>
> THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
>
> The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted, and t he
>prince went away sadly.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> The second prince brought diamonds.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and
>would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He
>too was sent away disappointed.
>
>
>
> :-[
>
>
>
> The third prince approached. He told the princess,
>
> "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."
>
> The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
>
> And it did not melt!!!
>
>
>
> The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was
>overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived
>happily ever after.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Question: What was in the prince's pants?
>
> (Scroll down for the answer)
>
>
>
> V
>
>
>
>
>
> V
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> M&M's of course. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
>
>
>
>
>
> What were you thinking??